Week Four: To Speak or Not to Speak (That is Not the Question)

            This week, I continued working on producing and studying my flashcards. I still aim to complete thirty minutes of each activity, but if, for example, I spend forty minutes modifying flashcards, I challenge myself to spend forty minutes studying my flashcards. Too often, I think I’m wrapped up in preparatory work- preparing study materials, applying for funding, or planning a trip-, and though these activities certainly help me to study, and they are, indeed, necessary, they do not constitute studying in and of themselves. So, I’m trying to push myself to make sure that the act of studying is my primary activity each week, even if it means carving out more time to do so.

            In addition, I continue to watch genocide testimony videos. The process is extended throughout the week, and I try to spend at least twenty minutes per day with audiovisual sources. I have also been working on contributing terms and phrases on the burgeoning Google Translate page for Kinyarwanda. I try to measure my productivity in this area, not by time spent, but by the amount of contributions I provide, which is usually five per day, though more are welcome, if I am feeling particularly ambitious. As I mentioned last week, I decided to try to work on content for my language-learning website throughout the week, saving it in a Word document until it is ready to be posted, for about an half-hour per day. So far, so good!

            Finally, I did not meet with a language partner this week, but I did compose an email message in Kinyarwanda to send to a Kinyarwanda speaker. Hopefully, I will get back on the ball next week. Speaking in a foreign language has always been a source of anxiety for me, and, unfortunately, I too often allow myself to be consumed by it.

Repeat after me: Lower your affective filter. “Do, or do not. There is no try.” As a potential working solution to my speaking problem, I think I will start recording myself speaking again (for as little as five minutes), perhaps not for the purpose of display (though perhaps one day), but just for me to prove to myself that I am doing it. I can speak Kinyarwanda, and perhaps by speaking to myself for myself, I will be more encouraged to speak to others.

In the meantime, however, do my blog readers have any advice as to how to lower affective filters in regard to speaking?